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Banana Splits
The Nightmare Before Christmas.  A work of twisted genius.

What is your favorite Disney movie?

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Writer's Block: It’s about to get hairy

LOM Pub

Do you like beards, goatees or mustaches? Why or why not?

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Goatees - yes please!  Revd T has one and he is not allowed to shave it off ever because I have never seen him without it and it would be weird!

More Vicar-y Stuff

Mary
What I forgot to explain through all of this is that you can go through all of this, but you only get Ordained if a church calls you to be their minister.  I’m fuzzy about how it all works, but although all the training etc is part of the call, the final confirmation is a church calling you to be their Minister.  No call, no ordination. 
 
Mr T had his Induction Service last week and is now officially the Minister at the church.  He can call himself Revd, describe himself as a “Minister of Religion” on forms and his name is on the notice board outside the church. 
 
Our church is teeny, tiny – 20 or so members, plus others who come regularly.  We pray that we’ll grow and hope for the best.  And we give thanks for the Baptist Home Mission grant that enabled them to call Mr T as a full time Minister.  
 
We move into the Manse next week.  Let the packing commence!

Thanking you!

Mary
Thank you for all the good wishes in response to yesterday’s entry.  What I didn’t add is that the whole process is extremely stressful and worrying.  You know you’re going to end up doing something, somewhere … But until you’ve gone through Settlement, you don’t know what the thing or the somewhere is going to be!  Mr T wasn’t that stressed about the whole process … I did that!  So glad this bit of the process is over.

Where Mr T is Settled

Mary
Right, where to start ... Bear with me, this is going to take a while …

Mr T started his final year at Bible College last September. As well as studying and church work, the final year brings Settlement. ie: Finding Mr T and everyone else in his year suitable church related employment.

Ministerial posts are as scarce. In previous years, there were several full time vacancies per student but now it’s one per student.  Students were also encouraged to look at part time / non-stipendiary posts as well. [ETA:  This is a change in stance as when Mr T asked about part-time three years ago, he was told they didn't like ministers straight out of college to do that].   I’ve no idea if the ratio quoted only includes suitable full time posts or if it took into account students called to their placement church / doing missionary service abroad.  It didn’t include ministers looking to move from one church to another. Add those in and it's more like three people per vacant post).

The Settlement process is a bit like a dating agency ... Mr T wrote a profile outlining his church background, experience etc and the college Principal gave a reference. We also stated any particular preferences. The more of those you have, the harder it is to match you so we went for "within commutable distance of Mrs T's work". (Mrs T likes her job and wants to keep it).  The churches also wrote a profile with a description of themselves and the kind of things they’re looking for in a Minister. 

The Settlement Committee meets once a month, prays though the lists and passes the profiles of people they think might be suitable to the church.  I am informed that they do not put the names into two hats, pray over them, do a FIFA style draw and then go to the pub. 

If the church wants to take it further, they invite you to an interview with the Deacons / Leadership.  This is followed by an invitation to come and Preach with a Squint.  (ie:  Lead a whole service).  This allows everyone to have a look at each other without actually committing to anything further.  The church then meets and asks you to come and Preach With A View.  This is the biggie.  Same again, only followed by a Q&A with the whole church.  (Sort of like a panel interview, with a really big panel!).  The church then meets again to discuss and vote.  If they think it’s right, they call you to be the Minister of that church.  If they don’t, then both of you start the whole process again with someone / someplace else.

Mr T’s name was commended for assistant and sole pastor to a few churches - large and small. Some came back if they weren't interested, but others didn't. (Larger churches were worse about this than the smaller ones, funnily enough). He also had a few interviews that didn't come to anything and then it all got a bit serious ... Names of the churches withheld for obvious reasons.

Church A is a small to medium sized, multicultural church in the innerish city. (Bonus points from the Principal!). They wanted to fill a part time post with a housing allowance.  (No manse).  Mr T got as far as the preach with a view stage, but they didn’t feel he was the right person for them.  We were gutted. They've since found a more experienced minister with a house elsewhere who's happy to commute so it all worked out in the end.

Church B is a moderately sized church in a lovely part of the world. The congregation were really friendly, welcoming and totally up for it.  But I would have been the only person under Forty-mumble and the Tubblet the only child.  They also loved their hymns and traditional worship.  Mr T loves these things too, only not so much.  He also likes to sing the odd chorus and has been known to wave his arms in the air.  Mr T went to preach with a squint, but having gone there, we knew – sadly - that it wasn’t the right place for us.  (Mr T would have been rocking under the pulpit, clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels three months in).  Not sure if they’ve found anyone yet, but hopefully it’ll be someone who loves them is able to respect and support their spiritual identity.

Church C is a small church in a Very Big village with an all age and cultures congregation.  Mr T had been there to preach a few times as it is fairly near to where we are now.  One Sunday during the summer when he went to lead a service, I had a moment and suggested that as they were looking for a minister and he was looking for a church, it was worth having a conversation … Even if it didn’t come to anything in the end. 

The church agreed with me and we went straight to the preach with a view as he’d been there before.  He led a service, followed by a wonderful pot luck lunch where we chatted with the congregation.  A week later, the church meeting called Mr T unanimously.  [ETA:  He now does a probationary period of three years, has to do some further study and has a mentor etc.  At the end of the 3 years, he is welcomed as a fully acredited minister with a handshake at Baptist Conference]. 

The ordination is at the end of September.  The induction is at the beginning of October … We’ll move at some point in October.  It’s 10 minutes down the road from where we are now so the Tubblet can stay at her school.  Next stage of the adventure begins …

He got a 2:1 btw.

Bloody hell, it's dusty in here ...

Tea

Sorry, I had a bit of a break from LJ which lasted a bit longer than I intended.  (As is often the way with these things). 

 

Dust has been blown off account and I should be ready to write an update in a day or so.  Once I've remembered how things work.  How is everyone?


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Logic (Or not. You choose)

Cookies

I’m sure that someone, somewhere will understand this.  I'm not sure I do.  It is Mr T’s birthday this weekend and I am making a Banoffee Pie in lieu of a birthday cake.   Mr T bought the ingredients when he did the weekly shop.  Banoffee Pie is one of the most fattening things on this planet.  He buys Elmlea instead of cream to "make it healthier".   THERE IS NOTHING THAT CAN MAKE A BANOFFE PIE MORE HEALTHY!  Apart from not eating it at all and having fruit instead.  (And no, the bananas in it probably don't count as a fruit portion.  Nothing counts as a fruit portion if it's covered in cream and toffee.  Unfortunately).

 

Banoffee Pie

Serves 10

 

300g oaty biscuits (Hob Nobs or Digestives are good)

60g butter , melted

397g tin Nestlé Carnation Caramel

3 large bananas , sliced

350ml double cream

1 tbsp icing sugar

100g dark chocolate

 

If using Carnation Condensed Milk, you’ll need

 

100g butter

100g dark brown soft sugar

 

  1. Heat the oven to 180C/fan 160C/gas 4. Crush the biscuits in a food processor then add the melted butter and pulse to combine. Press the mixture into a 24cm tart tin, with a removable base, in an even layer. Transfer the tin to a baking sheet and cook for 10-12 minutes, until lightly toasted and set. Leave to cool then gently release from the tin and put on a serving plate.
  2. Spread the caramel over the biscuit base and chill for 1 hour. Arrange the banana slices over the toffee. Whip the cream and sugar together to form soft peaks and spread over the bananas. melt the chocolate in a microwave or in a bowl set over, not in, a pan of simmering water. Allow to cool slightly, before drizzling over the cream.

 

Other Method

397g can Carnation Condensed Milk

100g butter

100g dark brown soft sugar

 

To make the filling: place the butter and sugar into a non-stick saucepan over a low heat, stirring until the butter melts and the sugar dissolves. Add the condensed milk and bring gently to the boil, stirring continuously. When the caramel has started to boil, remove from the heat and pour over the biscuit base. Cool, and then leave to chill for about 1 hour, until firm

 

 


 

I Am Thankful

Mary

Tim Jupp read this out on Good Morning Sunday and I thought I’d share it as I’m finding it quite helpful.  (Long post about Mr T’s job hunting / settlement process to follow when I’ve got time to write it).  Apologies to anyone on my FL that doesn’t really need this kind of thing right now.

I AM THANKFUL:

 

For the wife

Who says it's hot dogs tonight,

Because she is home with me,

And not out with someone else.

 

For the husband

Who is on the sofa

Being a couch potato,

Because he is home with me

And not out at the bars.

 

For the teenager

Who is complaining about doing dishes

Because it means she is at home,

Not on the streets.

 

For the taxes I pay

Because it means

I am employed.

 

For the mess to clean after a party

Because it means I have

Been surrounded by friends.

 

For the clothes that fit a little too snug

Because it means

I have enough to eat.

 

For my shadow that watches me work

Because it means

I am out in the sunshine

 

For a lawn that needs mowing,

Windows that need cleaning,

And gutters that need fixing

Because it means I have a home.

 

For all the complaining

I hear about the government

Because it means

We have freedom of speech.

 

For the parking spot

I find at the far end of the parking lot

Because it means I am capable of walking

And I have been blessed with transportation.

 

For my huge heating bill

Because it means

I am warm.

 

For the lady behind me in church

Who sings off key because it means

I can hear.

 

For the pile of laundry and ironing

Because it means

I have clothes to wear.

 

For weariness and aching muscles

At the end of the day

Because it means I have been

Capable of working hard.


For the alarm that goes off

In the early morning hours

Because it means I am alive.

 

And finally, for too much e-mail

Because   it means I have

Friends who are thinking of me.

 

Live well, laugh often, & love with all of your heart!



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Writer's Block: One last question ...

N&S Thornton

If you could select one person from history and ask them a question to which they had to reply with an honest answer, who would you select, and what would you ask them?

First question listed was submitted by [info]queenofspades. (Follow-up questions, if any, may have been added by LiveJournal.)

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If I was allowed to add fictional characters to the list, I’d ask Mr Thornton that question.  That would put an end to the thread that I can’t bring myself to post on, but still haven’t managed to stop reading …

Went into Boots last night to purchase some 3 for 2 skincare and got talking to a lovely salesman from
Organic Surge about Parabens and their effects and why going organic is A Good Thing.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him that – wild generalisation alert! – many of us would risk the nasty evil ingredients if they really did half the things they claimed and really restored the bloom of youth.  (I’ve given up on the bloom of youth and am now hoping for not bad for her age!  I'm too poor and wussy for surgery or injections).  


Career Fail. (Fortunately, not mine)

Lady

The company’s great and glorious leader visited our office on Monday.  We found out about the visit on Tuesday the week before.  Facilities were commanded to complete outstanding redecorating jobs by Sunday evening.  (The Queen, CEOs and the Very Famous must be convinced that all buildings smell of recently applied paint). 

 

On Monday, he addressed his minions.  Invitations to these things are usually reserved for people more senior than me, but due to holidays etc, there were some spare places so I got to attend.  He had some interesting things to say and was really positive about it all.  Although in the circumstances, he could hardly stand there and tell us, Frazer style, that  "We're doomed, I tell ye!".

 

The invitations were phrased in such a way that it was pretty obvious that if you could go, you should.  And there were name badges so they knew who attended.  Despite that, there were 35 (!) no shows.  Of the ones that have been followed up so far, only one person had an acceptable excuse – their partner had broken their leg.  Others thought that catching up on phone calls and paperwork was more important than listening to the CEO.

 

That has to be elementary career FAIL.  (Surely it has?!)  Meanwhile I shall continue my own sweet career path in a job that I enjoy, that has no promotion prospects and involves a lot of work for the (un)grateful.  But it pays reasonable money and lets me get home by 6pm to see Mr T and the Tubblet.  Not bad!  (I know this is also career fail as better, managerial jobs are out there and I'm capable of getting / doing one, but frankly, I couldn't give a damn.  Work life balance and all that).

 

To update you on the family saga, things were said by the family patriarch and all is sorted.  (I haven’t been told anymore).  The Tubblet is off on a little holiday and we’re off to our concert!


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